Tales of Bars, Hospital Beds and I Love Yous
by abbingtonmorstan
Summary: Kate Beckett never seems to get what her heart desires. Maybe, for once, Rick Castle can give that to her. Full summary inside.


Our favourite leading lady from one of (what I think) the best love stories on t.v at the moment.  
>Finally, we hear from one of the most important people in these so called love stories.<br>She tells us of their kisses that weren't kisses, their hugs that weren't hugs, their smiles that were nothing but friendly.  
>What will she say?<br>A heartfelt confession? Or strong denial?  
>Read to find out.<p>

Featuring Kate Beckett of ABC's Castle.

Disclaimer:  
>I DO NOT own Kate Beckett or anything associated with Castle; full credit goes to Andrew Marlowe &amp; ABC.<p>

Oh, and the lyrics don't belong to me either. Just those brilliant writers that write them. =)

* * *

><p><em>You got what it takes you can win, <em>_  
><em>_Today is your day to begin.__  
><em>_Don't give up here, don't you quit.__  
><em>_The moment is now, this is it__  
><em>_Know that you can then you will__  
><em>_Get to the top of the hill__  
><em>_Part of the fun is the climb__  
><em>_You just gotta make up your mind_

* * *

><p>It hadn't been long, only a few years in fact, but this time, it was different.<br>I don't know how, and I don't know why, but something changed the moment that I met you. It was a little less than three years the first time you and I talked to each other. When I approached you at that bar, I never thought it would be one of the biggest things I ever had to face; it I had known it then, you and I never would have happened.  
>When I skinned you alive in that interrogation room, never did I think that your little flirtatious remarks would ever make my heart flutter the way they do. When we solved our first case together, never did I think we would do it 100 times more, and it never crossed my mind that each time I would get more excited for the time I spent with you.<br>When I walked away from you at the end of our first closed case, never did I think that I would miss you as much as I did, even if it was only for a brief second; the thing was, you never left. And when I told you not to go near my mother's case, but you did anyway, I never thought that while I had never felt more angry and betrayed, I was touched that you cared that much. Do you? Do you really care that much for me?

I also remember seeing you with other women, the strange twinge I felt, whenever you seemed too close, you are my writer boy after all; no one else is allowed to have you.

I remember when the first Nikki Heat novel came out, the heartfelt, almost reassuring dedication you made to me, "to the extraordinary KB..." my face and heart involuntarily inflame at the mere thought of it. And then when I thought you were going to confess your 'undying love' for me, and how I unwillingly and unintentionally wished and longed that you would do just that; but of course, that's exactly what didn't happen. No matter how much I wanted it. I couldn't have it.

And then when I realised that for the time being, you and I weren't ready for the commitment that seemed destined to happen; it was time to 'move on'. Then I met Demming, and he seemed genuinely interested, so I gave him a shot. I remember the way he made you act. You were more cautious around me, and hostile towards him; I couldn't make sense of anything. I didn't understand why you were like that. It was almost as if you were jealous or something.  
>And then I realised that moving on wasn't working for me, and being with him wasn't good for any of us; especially when I had feelings for another man, so I broke it off with him.<p>

I remember the day that was supposed to be our very last case together, how I had that rather sudden epiphany, how it was time to share it with you, before it was too late. And then of course, in typical Hollywood fashion, you broke my heart; through means of a certain ex-wife/publisher. Even then, I thought I saw that defeated look on your face, as if you were expecting and wanting to hear what I intended to tell you. But that may have been my selfish mind telling me that.  
>And after that, when I hadn't heard a thing from you all summer, when I honestly thought I wouldn't ever hear from you ever again, you came spiralling back into my life. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I claimed that I didn't want you or need you, you slithered your way back in, like a slimy, slippery, sneaky snake. I tried to be angry, but I couldn't; you had well and truly broken the protective shell I had built around myself.<p>

And during that long, hot summer, I did the only thing I thought I could do. Again, I 'moved on', and for a while, I seemed kinda happy. Josh is an amazing guy, and in all honesty he's been more than good to me, he's been great. He's everything any woman could ask for. He's caring, kind, loving, amazingly good-looking, hardworking (he's a surgeon for goodness sake), and most of all, he makes an effort to be perfect for me. But I think I knew from the beginning that he isn't the one for me. And I think part of the reason is that he is just too perfect. Too emotionally available. Too much of what a dream guy should be. Although he seems to be the best boyfriend to talk to about anything, I can't tell him things that I have told you, it doesn't seem right; although I have been with him for a while. He hasn't gained my trust because he is never there; not like you have been anyway. At first, I thought his absence would be some sort of blessing for me, but in the long run, it is not healthy in any relationship. And although I admire him for saving the world, and performing lifesaving heart surgery, sometimes it feels good to be saved too.

I even remember when I overheard you conversation with Gina, that day that you told her it was over; I feel guilty knowing that I felt the tiniest twinge of joy, when I heard those words come out of your mouth. But nevertheless I cared more for you than that, so I comforted you, while pretending that I didn't know about the breakup. I genuinely felt bad for you, and all I wanted to do was give you a hug. Everything leading up to then seemed to be the reason why this point and time became the penultimate moment in our professional relationship; it had become way too personal to be called that anymore.

And because of that, the kiss that wasn't really a kiss became the kiss that really was a kiss, and much, much more than that. I had fooled myself into thinking that I had gotten over you, when in all honestly, I was never over you.

All I needed to realise this was a little pushing and nagging from my conscientious self; and as I lay here in this narrow hospital bed, and open my eyes to bright lights, I can just make out the outline of your body. I can feel your hand lying on top of mine, gripping tightly on my pale fingers, your head is slumped forward on the edge of my bed, nestled softly into my hip. I now remember the last thing you said to me as I lay there in excruciating pain, from the impact of the bullet as it slammed into me, "I love you, Kate." I am now smiling the brightest, happiest smile in the world; because right at this moment I realise I feel the same way, and I can't wait till you wake from your peaceful slumber. Because when you do, I am going to tell you something that I have never told anyone before. And I really hope we can be happy together as we should've been a long time ago.

Because I love you too, Rick, with every cell in my body. I really do. 

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><p>Hello! Tales of Bars, Kisses and "I Love Yous" came to me randomly while I was about to go to sleep; and I had a sudden brainwave.<p>

What if Beckett, the one who "seems" to be the least accepting of her feelings, finally confessed? And this is what I came up with!  
>Please give me some feedback and enjoy! =)<p>

Lyrics courtesy of Shania Twain's "Today is Your Day" =)


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